I know how much you guys LOOOOOVE seeing pictures of me on my blog, so I am sorry of having deprived you of this pleasure this past few months HAHAHAHAHAHA I am laughing because my lack of humility humiliates me DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My kittay is curled up next to me on the couch as I type this so I write with a high from endorphin overdose from my right side. Good god, she’s been more affectionate than usual.. by which, I really means “she’s been affectionate… at all”.
I have something to confess. As you might have guessed, it’s my weight gain that’s kept me from posting a lot of pictures of me. I find myself hating every picture ever posted of me. When I do take a picture of myself that looks good enough to be posted, I feel like it’s deceptive because any picture others take of me never look nearly as good. You’re probably thinking of that comic I did of me and the boyfriend but others take even worse pictures of me.
It doesn’t seem right that I should be posting beauty-related photos of myself when I don’t even feel that good about my looks anymore. It’s not that I feel ugly all the time. I just don’t feel photogenic. It’s a popular belief that pictures don’t lie but I believe that pictures do lie. They press all three dimensions down to two and it distorts the reality of an image, so you’ll see things differently in a picture than if you were to see the actual subject in person. That is why a truly good painting isn’t one that looks exactly like a photograph. It’s one that draws you to a focal point and makes you FEEL it rather than just see it. You could say the same about photography, too. I digress.
It doesn’t change the fact that I still need to lose weight. I peaked at 146 last weekend. Not only is this making me look like I have the mumps but the added weight around my face and neck is literally killing me slowly. Also, I recently learned that I went up to a D-cup. I used to be a B almost all my life and I used to be in the 120 range in weight almost all my life. To have to carry two extra cup sizes and 20 extra pounds in the past year, it’s no wonder I’m always tired and I have trouble breathing. My posture’s gone to shit, too.
I know I’ve been repeatedly making claims about how, this time, I’m really going to lose weight. I never committed after making those statements, though. This time, though, I’m extra motivated.
My new goals set up on Lose It
I’ve been working out more intensely than ever this past two months. I joined a yoga/pilates/aerobic studio and paid the high price for an unlimited monthly package. It’s been totally worth it. Never have I been so motivated to keep up the work outs, but I’ll talk about that later. Today, I’m just summarizing my progress.
When I saw that I was eating like crazy to compensate for the energy burned, therefore not seeing any weight loss, I opened my LoseIt app on my iPod Touch and started a new program on it. I also dusted off the Volumetrics Diet Plan book that I had only tried out for a month before deciding I was too lazy to commit to meal-planning, calorie counting and measuring servings. This time, I’d make it my Number One Priority to plan my meals and budget my calories, as well as work out to boost my strength and energy.
This week I lost four pounds but my cheat day has just started so the net loss may be smaller in the end. The first week is always easy for me because I get all gung-ho about starting a new project and then, later on, it kind of fizzles out. This time, however, I am hoping that my expensive membership at the yoga studio will keep me motivated even a month or two from now.
I’m waiting on the boyfriend to set up a new blog for me where I can document my weight management progress. Actually, I should call this a health management progress. I don’t just want to weigh less. I want to have more energy and stamina. I want to be able to pull of multiple tasks in a day without feeling like I’m spreading myself thin. I want to be able to climb three flights of stairs without panting halfway up. I also want to make 30 look good.
My new inspiration. Jung Da Yun was just another overweight housewife. Look at her now. If she can look this good at 40 with 2 kids, I can look good at 30 with no kids.
Maybe sometime next week, I’ll feel good enough to start posting pictures again, even if I haven’t lost a lot of weight. Sometimes, it’s just knowing that I’m taking better care of myself that makes me feel better about how I look. Also, there’s this new BB Cream I’ve come to love and I want to share it with you guys 
I am alienman. Writing a small blurb about myself is the hardest thing to do. "Blurb" is a funny word.
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I wish you lots of success! As you maybe know I’ve also signed up for the gym two months ago, and my motivation has gone down alrdy, but I’m still keeping it up, and I’m proud of that. As much as it’s about keeping my weight I’ve always had, it’s also a lot about being healthy (as you said). I also eat more vegetables and less fat than I used to. It’s sad what junk we got ourselves used to eat. Let’s keep each other motivated!
V. you should make a Lose It account and add me!!! Register at LoseIt.com. I’d love to have more workout buddies to help me stay motivated.
Yea, it’s downright shameful how bad my eating habits were. Now that I’m trying to budget calories while keeping serving sizes reasonable, I find myself eating more vegetables, too. That’s why I like the Volumetrics Diet Plan. It’s good for people who know they should be eating healthier food but haven’t really made it a priority before.
Keep up the good work!
You can do it! I’m in the same boat as you.. Trying to go back to my high school body by the time I hit 30.. lol. Thanks for reminding me that I have a bunch of diet management apps on my phone that I should use. I’ve just been too lazy..
Hellooo~ stalker posting here =) Decided to come out of the shadows since I’ve missed your posts so much haha!
I think it’s utterly fantastic that your goal is to improve your health rather just to be thin – after all thin does not necessarily equate to good health! Have you heard of LifeSprints? Hop onto an exercise bike – cycle normally for 12 secs, then PEDAL LIKE MAD for 8 secs, then back to normal for 12…then PEDAL LIKE MAD for 8 secs (etc etc) for 20 minutes a day. Even better than constant cycling for 40 mins
What?! That chic in the pic is 40!?!?!? She looks like she’s in her 20′s! Hmm..I think u looked very skinny in ur past pics..where u are carving pumpkins, haha. It seems like 146lbs. is a little overweight for your size…how did u gain so much weight?
I showed that picture to Denis. He goes, “Yeah, so?”
I say, “She’s 40 and has 2 kids.”
“DAAAAAYYYYYYYYUM!”
“I KNOW RIGHT? I’m gonna look like that when I’m 40.”
“You don’t look like that right *now*.”
…. and I am humbled.
i stumbled upon ur blog cos i noticed u started following mine and i am SOOO glad u did! ur blog is great! i love the way you write!
I turned 30 in october! and i can definetely feel the old metabolic rate going down. i am trying to drink less and eat less supper at night. no more late night ramen for me XD
i followed u on twitter! hope u can check my acct out too [bittenbefore] would love to chat with u!
hey girl, good job on the 4 pounds!
i can totally sympathize how you feel. when i become unhealthy (not watching what i eat and not exercising) my body starts rebelling. i start getting back tension and pain. not cool when you can’t bend over and brush your teeth…
just keep at it and be patient. it’ll be awhile before you notice results. it took me 3.5 months to lose 10 lbs.
i use the livestrong app, which is very similar to loseit. i was thinking of creating a health blog too, but i’ve got so many blogs going on at once that it’s too much signing in/out. i might just do a health section on my existing beauty blog, since i’ve been slacking on exercise. i do find vegetables and water are key, and cheat days are important but make sure you maintain the small portions.
keep up the good work! keep us posted on your status
Girl, does LoseIt have a website? I don’t have an iPhone so I need to upload my stuff in an old-fashioned way.
hey there, I was wondering about the lack of posts! Although I know when my friends say that thing about themselves and I look and them and think they look beautiful. We’re always our worst critics.
As someone who also hangs out in her 120s until the past year… when I weighed 145ish in early July and didn’t want anything to do with seeing friends or ANYthing, I know where you’re coming from
I was always so tired that I felt like I deserved treats and that I didn’t have the energy to exercise, when it’s really the exact opposite. At any rate, I signed up for Sparkpeople in July and have lost 10 lbs, even after two stressful months in between. I’m not saying that to brag or anything, but to say that it’s awesome that you’ve joined an online community and are tracking your exercise and calories, I think that really helps, and it worked for me and it looks like it’s working splendidly for you so far! keep up the good work!
HY: That’s pretty awesome! I think you have every right to brag, although you certainly didn’t come off as bragging here. You do deserve to be proud of your accomplishment. Also, your story is rather inspiring for me since it sounds like you went through what I’m going through right now in terms of weight fluctuation. So, thank you for sharing your story! I tried Spark People for a bit but I ended up losing focus. It’s a great support site, though.
Dao: Go to http://www.loseit.com and register. Don’t forget to add me as a friend! LOL I like how doing things on the computer has become “old-fashioned”.
Burnette: 10 lbs in 3 months is pretty good! I guess I don’t mind if it takes long, since that means more time for me to get adjusted to a healthier lifestyle. The biggest downside to losing weight quickly is that you’ll most likely gain it quickly, too, since the diet and exercise you applied is a mere temporary change. Even after I lose the weight, I want to continue working out and I hope, by then, that I’ll enjoy it to the point where I can’t stand not doing it haha.
Thanks everyone for the supportive comments. Sorry I can’t reply to all of them right now >.< I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress next week. I hope that I’ll have other interesting things to talk about, then, too.
I was so happy to see you updated, but more happy to see that you’re making positive changes to lose weight by changing your diet and exercise. Good luck and I’ll see you around Loseit.
40 and 2 kids?! O_O
You definitely, definitely can do it if you want it. Go for it, alienman!
40 and two kids?! dang hot mama…
at least you gained weight, and gained the cups as well…
i gained the weight…but the cups remained the same.
esh. jerky body. lol
anyway good luck!
you can do it^^
I started doing a bit of cardio as well…our church is 3 stories, and they have high ceilings…
so each week i start off on the main floor, go to the basement, than head to the third floor, go back to the basement, and then back to the main floor.
needless to say when I get to the third floor, im usually out of breath. so sad :T
at least we take these little ‘heads up’ from our bodies, and doing something about it. instead of ignoring it~
yay Alienman we can all do it together!
!!! I know your feelings well! er.. except, I haven’t been in the 120s since high school. For me, the lack of pics of myself that I like will equate into a lack of posts.
This Jung Da Yun woman really lights a “get fit!” fire, alright. I think I’m gonna go workout NOW hahaha. I had peaked at 143 lbs or so about 2 years ago and finally came to my senses about my weight when I saw a pic of myself in a striped cardigan. While stripes are generally unforgiving to begin with (for curvy girls anyway), the photo was realllly BAAADDD. I lost 8 lbs but put on more muscle and now am in a limbo of my current weight. I’ve been getting back into getting fitter since it’s the holiday season (aka FAT season). I think I’ll join loseit.com as well. Good luck with your progress!