I’ve changed the tagline for the blog. Let’s face it. This publication is no longer just about beauty and makeup anymore, is it? Did I just call my blog a “publication”? Hello, Miss Uppity!
It has been over two months since we’ve moved to our new apartment. It’s strange but I feel like it’s been longer than that.
I can’t stress how small this place is, even for a one-bedroom. In Eugene, we were living in a 2-bedroom with a garage, separate kitchen and dining area, and a balcony that easily fit a cafe table and chairs. Our new home is a one-bedroom apartment with no balcony. The closet space is minimal and, even after sacrificing most of our clothes, they barely accommodate wardrobes for two people. It is evident that this apartment was designed for one tenant… and maybe a full-time nudist.
I wonder if people pity us for having downsized to such a small space. Would you be surprised to know that I’m extremely happy with the limited space?
You’re probably thinking, “She’s finally lost it. I knew we shouldn’t have let her spend too much time alone with the cat.”
No, I’ve actually been thinking about this since we first moved out of Eugene. The most awful part about the move was having to deal with a severe excess of things. It’s quite analogous to the phenomenon of having a completely full handbag, no matter how small or how big it is. You could manage just fine with a clutch but, somehow, you manage to fill up an entire tote bag.
Every single kitchen cabinet and drawer was filled with canned goods and kitchenware. Every closet was brimming with clothes, some of which I had stopped wearing because they no longer fit. There were sacks of shoes that hadn’t been worn in ages. What boggled my mind about this was that I knew for a fact that I had a pretty limited wardrobe and an especially small shoe supply for a woman. There were tons of wires and gadgets, jewelry and other trinkets that we were hesitant to throw away and ended up keeping for years. If there was a space to be filled, by golly, we had made sure it was filled. It wasn’t just my stuff or the boyfriend’s, either. A lot of it were things old roommates had never claimed or things my parents had thrust into my care, none of which we were certain about throwing away.
I still shudder at the thought of all the belongings that only cost us so much time, space and money to move, or end up adding to a landfill somewhere that will never die after the fall of civilization (I actually have this fear that one day mankind will colonize the moon just to put more landfills in it. It sometimes keeps me up at night. Don’t judge me.).
It was just too stressful having to deal with so much crap. We were about to temporarily move into an already full house with another couple and their two cats, so we had to whittle down as much as we could. It got to a point where I couldn’t sleep at night thinking about the Tons of Crap. At four in the morning, I was banging around the kitchen, shoving appliances in one pile of boxes, scraping my fingers against too many drawers full of kitchen utensils – many of which hadn’t even been used – and trying to drag around huge black garbage bags full of canned goods.
I finally broke down sobbing because IT WAS TOO MUCH. WHY did I let my life be weighed down with so much physical baggage on top of the metaphorical? The physical baggage should be something I could easily discard without a care. What does it matter in the end if something cost money at one point? Keeping something I did not need only ended up costing more than getting rid of it. We actually had to pay people a lot of money to help us move and remove the stuff we had.
It also made me cringe to think that some huge-ass load of material goods might follow me around wherever I went. I could no longer bear it, especially when we found ourselves having to move a second time in a three-month span. By this time, I was so sick of having material belongings that wasn’t vital to my livelihood and survival. What the fuck was I doing with skeins of yarn that I hadn’t even touched in the last four years? Why was I holding on to clothes that stopped fitting me and would be completely out of style by the time I could wear them again?
So, when we looked for a new home, I was very much attracted to the idea of living in a small place where we’d only have room for what really mattered. It was cost-efficient but also efficient in other ways. It continues to give me perspective on what I want versus what I need. Sure, we could attempt to live in a larger place and still try to pursue a minimalist lifestyle. However, realistically speaking, we’d probably end up filling all the nooks and crannies again.
Two months after having moved to our new apartment, even after having donated small furniture and four boxes of non-essentials to the Vietnam Veterans of America, it is still too cluttered. We still have to get rid of our dining table because we needed room for a home office area. We never ate at that table anyway. We still have more boxes to donate.
The boyfriend also managed to hold on to a hideous gigantic ice box that might have been purchased in the eighties. He had that thing when he went to college. That was like 12 years ago. His mom’s last name is on it and he calls it an “heirloom” just to drive me batty. There is also this white plastic three-tier drawer cart full of wires and other electrical items. He claims they’re all important. That plastic container just might be the thing that he chooses over me.
It’s definitely hard for me to shed my habits of clinging to things and getting more stuff. It’s certainly impossible to do cold turkey. If being poor has benefited me in any way, it is in being unable to buy more things I do not need. Still, I keep finding myself thinking we “should” get this or that without even considering how important it is to have that item.
On a lighter note, I don’t miss anything I’ve discarded. I realize now that any physical item that I own only has as much value as I, or someone willing to buy it, would attribute to it.
I am not eager to live in a larger home anytime soon. I don’t envy anyone for their big houses or lofty condos. All it makes me think about is how much STUFF must be tucked under the folds, tethering me down and rendering me immobile. Maybe I’m suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder from our last two moving experiences. Maybe I’ll come out of it soon. Right now, the idea of a perfect home is a nicely furnished studio apartment with two bathrooms and a walk-in closet. I know. They don’t exist.
I am alienman. Writing a small blurb about myself is the hardest thing to do. "Blurb" is a funny word.
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Ugh, I have such a bad habit of accumulating too much stuff and not knowing how to get rid of it. Kudos to you for having the balls and ability to do what others can’t, seriously.
Also, smaller space means it’s easier to maintain it nice and clean.
^ditto on easier to maintain~
when i was younger…and i was frustrated with life, I would open the door to my closet, throw in my pillow, sit down, and shut the door. it helped to just block the insanity that was the outside world, and give me more time to think and just ‘be’. I guess in a sense thats what a small space does in general. its true ‘you’ time, without the clutter of everyday life.
Well written! I often feel the same and have made a promise to myself that wherever I end up moving to once I find a job, I am only bringing a very limited amount of stuff with me that I know I will use. I have a huge container full of yarn! I always feel kind of sad just giving a lot of stuff away, remembering how much money it had cost me to buy it because I had truly thought I was going to use whatever it was. But you’re right, the stress all the clutter brings is just not worth it.
Also, when I lived in that house close to the bus station, I hardly ever used the front main room. There was no need for it and I was much happier downsizing at my next place.
Sweetie I know how you feel, I used to be super sentimental keeping any and everything that reminded me of anything. I’ve since restricted myself to one plastic box, and if it’s full I have to get rid of something to make room for something new.
Now I clean out my whole house every 4-5months and I just go through the entire house mumbling about how we just have SO MUCH STUFF. Reality is, we don’t have that much stuff it’s just we are crammed into a small basement suite really meant for one person. I have found tricks though, buy things that have multiple functions, clothing that no longer fits can be re-purposed into pillow cases, curtains, rag cloths. Nice clothes can be donated. I know what you mean about the boys though. My whole bottom half of my closet is stuffed with BOXES. EMPTY BOXES. The boy refuses to throw any of it out because he “may need it in the future” It absolutely drives me insane considering we barely have enough room for our clothes much less BOXES!
But relax it gets better, the older we get the more we learn about ourselves and what we need/don’t need. As long as you are aware you will be okay
I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.
I definitely think your new tag line fits your blog better. Time has passed quickly – it’s even hard for me to believe you’ve lived in your new home for 2 months. I hope that you’re happy with the new space. It definitely sounded like you and Zachary needed to get away from the other couple and live in space that’s more functional. How’s Bella doing in the new space?
As for clutter, I understand. That’s actually something I worry about with my parents’ house. I can maintain my own space in my room and I do clean-outs regularly, but anything outside of my room is a mess. There’s just too much stuff and even more stuff in our finished basement. It’s like a case of Affluenza, like the book. I want to tell my mom to stop buying stuff, even if it’s on sale, because a life of excess is not going to bring one happiness. Sounds like you know this already, so I commend you for preaching it now. Sing on, sista! hahaha whoa…where did that come from? I’ve been living in the South too long.
Anyway, I’m glad to see you post something new.
hey girl, i can totally relate about having too much stuff. i feel guilty throwing stuff away too because i think about the money invested into buying the item and also how it’s just contributing to the landfills (you’re not alone!!) that’s probably why i buy beauty products (vs. clothes and other collectibles) because you use it up and it becomes dispensable.
anyways, glad to hear that you’re enjoying your new place. hopefully it’ll become more of a long-term residence
I know exactly how you feel. -_- I’m in the process of packing my stuff to send back home since I’m graduating this year. Omg. I didn’t realize how much crap I’ve accumulated over the years — especially things that I don’t use anymore but still keep. I find it so hard to throw away stuff, though. Most of the things I have are gifts and I can’t bring myself to toss it out. I wish I wasn’t so mushy about things like that, lol.
Well I do say I need to stand up and applaud you my dear Twinstar! Cuz I don’t think I could do that! I’m such a damn packrat! I have clothes from yrs ago that I’m “fantasizing” about fitting again, etc. LOL! Even though I got rid of half my shit when I moved out of the ex’s place I still feel like I have too much now sometimes. Sometimes! LOL!
But I’m glad you’re happier in your new place even though it’s smaller then what you’re used to! LOL! NUDIST! Try it out see if it’s true! J/K!! But I hear you on the 4am sobbing cuz you worry about moving all your crap. I was like that when I was in the process of moving out of the ex’s.
Haha! “heirloom” that is too funny!
MISS YOU!! LOVE YOU!!
Ps. Email me your new addy!
Congrats on moving to a smaller space! I think “living small” can be quite liberating. My boyfriend and I just moved from a 2 bedroom 1250+ sq ft unit to a small 1 bedroom unit last week. We also got rid of some furniture (thanks to craigslist!) and replaced it with Ikea pieces. If we decide we want to move to another country tomorrow, we don’t want to feel attached to our belongings!
Cheers!
congrats on getting through all of that! moving is so hard, especially when you have to really downsize your things. i felt exactly how you did the last time i moved…the sleepless nights, plus arguing with the bf on what i should keep or not keep
i still have a long way to go though, just spent 4 hrs tidying up/organizing stuff today. its so hard to let go though, especially if I’ve spent the last 6 years hanging on to it between moves.
the good thing is, looking at all the stuff does help me stop buying new stuff now. i haven’t bought a piece of clothing in ages…makeup is usually more tempting though because i think to myself, how much space can a blush take? but it all adds up.
You deleted “The Dried Fish Look Is Apparently In” entry. Why? That pizza you made looks soooooo good. You know what I was thinking? How fun it would be…if you and us bloggers met up someday!
Ann: The “dried fish” post is still there, a few posts down. Is it hidden from you??
I love the idea of us getting together! I feel like I’ve developed a very deep relationship with many of you, even deeper than many of my local friends.
(:
I threw out so many things (furniture & clothes/shoes/etc) when I moved away from DC…and somehow in the course of a year+ and a larger apartment, it feels like I’ve collected so.much.crap. Both of my parents are packrats though, so I know I picked it up from them, lol…I think that’s why I don’t want to own a huge house – I’d just fill it with random crap! but not like a hoarder or anything…just…lots of random things in Container Store/IKEA containers and shelves.
You put it perfectly! I’ve been irritated lately by the feeling that my apartment is just overflowing with stuff. Ugh!
I am starting to go through a cleaning fit – I have too much stuff and it’s too messy!
I also don’t think I want a very big house. A studio would be pushing it, but maybe a 2 bedroom with 2 bathrooms, haha. I just think it’s great to have friends visit, so I’d really like an extra bedroom to make that possible. But I feel no need for more than that. Less cleaning involved!
Anyway, I really need to be strict and donate/throw away the stuff I don’t need/use.
It’s going to be painful to throw away my formal dresses though.
Rhis just goes to show that we prob don’t need 70% of our personal belongings. It really is, like you said, just clutter. Still, I love my clutter and would have a hard time saying goodbye to it. Well, at least I stop buying and amassing…that’s always something, right?
Oh man, I understand you perfectly! After living in my old apartment for more than 3 years, I ended up donating more than 1/2 of my stuff. Now, I’m cozy with this new place and stuff just magically came in and inhabit.
[...] Hey, remember when I wrote this rant about how I was going to “live small”? For the most part, we’ve done a pretty decent job of avoiding the accumulation of crap we don’t need. However, what I didn’t tell you last time was that our apartment was a mere 500 sq feet. Our bedroom closet was half the standard size and two fully grown adults were sharing it. [...]