The boyfriend and I decided to go for a stroll around the neighborhood. We passed by a park where we saw a kid, maybe eleven years old, playing with a small trampoline.
I mean, he was actually picking it up and rolling it down the street, like it was a hoop.
I contemplated advising the boy on the proper usage of the trampoline, but I decided it was not my place to set restrictions on this kid’s apparent outside-the-box imagination. Who was I to tell him there was only one way to play with a trampoline?
A car came down that street, so he rolled his trampoline out of the way. As we passed, he yells out, “ARE YOU ASIAN?!”
Was this a trick question?
“IS SHE ASIAN?!”
“IS SHE CHINESE?!”
My next contemplation was on whirling around and letting the kid know you don’t just yell out guesses at a stranger’s ethnicity as they passed you and your stupid rolling trampoline on the street, but then he delivered this gold nugget.
“DO YOU GUYS KISS? DO YOU GUYS FUCK?!”
Holy shit. Did the kid even know what that meant?
“DO YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN HER PUSSY?”
Yea, the kid knew exactly what that meant. I finally retorted, “You don’t talk that way to strangers.”
“Sorry!”
Stupid kid. I hope you keep playing with the trampoline the wrong way so other kids laugh at you.
I am alienman. Writing a small blurb about myself is the hardest thing to do. "Blurb" is a funny word.
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i wonder what his parents are like…
This is probably horrible of me, but I find that HILARIOUS. Man, kids just say the darnedest things! What a delightful character, that child!
… Okay, so I guess he’s a pretty fucked up kid, but still.
haha I would’ve been mortified. crazy.
oh. wow. i’m speechless. where the heck do these kids even get that stuff from!!! shouldn’t they be playing freeze tag in their backyards or something? talking about the latest episode of pokemon?!?!?!
I think that social workers need to visit his home….
Wow, that’s pretty graphic language for a kid.
It’s amazing , what kinds of things kids say. I was in a bookstore once with a friend of mine, who has short hair and dresses somewhat androgynously, and a little girl went up to her and asked whether she was a boy or a girl. Then went, “Oh, you’re a girl. I can tell because you have green eyes.” And I once dated a guy with dreadlocks, and when we were riding on the subway a kid across the car pointed and went, “MOMMY IS THAT A DRUG DEALER.”
/cool story bro
Wow, I have no idea what to say about that kid. =\ Did his parents not teach him manners??
wow. O.o
speechless. Not sure where to begin, but I hope he grows up to be well-adjusted.
….
okay…first I laughed. not because of what the kid said, but your closing sentence XD
it isn’t just because of parents, but also kids in general, nowadays, are exposed to FAR more things we were ‘sheltered’ from (and am I ever thankful I was :T)
Anyway I see sooo many kids doing, saying things that is just beyond their age bracket, and it is just so sad that they are unable to really understand, and just regurgitate what they have heard. I mean how hard is it to remember that ‘fuck’ is ‘penis in vagina’?
Yes the kid might actually know…but chances that hes just spewing things that he might have heard are quite high…
and about guessing ppls ethinicity…
I have older folk, 40′s, still coming up and guessing a whole bunch before I can get my say and tell them I am korean… esh.
Hahahaha!
Oh. My. God.
I love how you set up the post to make it seem like it’s about the trampoline. I was reading and I was thinking, “oh man, I bet something really funny is going to happen with the trampoline!”
Man was I wrong.
I feel horrified for you. Honestly if I was in your situation I’m not even sure how I would react.
My first thought was that I would drag the kid back to his house and demand to speak to his parents, but then after some thought I realized that if the kid could learn to talk that way (and more importantly, feel that it was okay enough to talk that way) then maybe his parents aren’t the best people to be reasoning parenting with….
Honestly, I am in awe that you were able to reply. I would’ve been too busy picking up my jaw off the pavement to say anything back.
I love how outrageous things always happen to you.
PS. Don’t thank me sweetie, you *deserve to win!*
I think you’re awesome and you are hands down, the first blogger I fell in love with.. *blushes* (as in, love reading! Just in case that got misunderstood lol)
Lol I cannot help but agree with May… it’s one of those “LOL, Wtf!! WAIT… WTF?!” kinda things :S Yes… I wonder about the parents…
… phhh! I think, I’m shocked! But well, that’s how children / youngsters are nowadays apparently. :/
XD Kids these days…
Omg what a little sh** but the kid is probably like that because of how he was raised. I applaud you for handling the situation so well, I would have just stood there dumbfounded that he was saying those things lol.
Kids are growing up too fast. :\
Wow….kid probably has a few screws loose in the head. You responded really well. I cringe to think what he’ll be like when he’s grown up. I have a weird feeling we’ll be seeing him on the news in the future.
WOW! The audacity of this kid! Just out of curiousity, how old is he? Somebody should have washed his mouth out with a bar of soap. I’ve actually had instances like this happen before. Stupid little boys just come up to you asking such inappropriate questions. It’s like, HEL-LO!!!!! You’re not even old enough to start growing pubes yet! I can’t believe these kids are out there talking like they’re adults. But on the real, your story kind of made me laugh out loud. You shoulda got your bf to backhand that little booger!
hahaha I had intended on this being a humorous anecdote (despite my own mortification at the time) but I guess the kid’s behavior was too outrageous to be taken lightly. I was pretty stunned myself but, after thinking about it, I realized it was too hilarious to not share. Anyway, I dislike kids in general but, man, that kid made me really sympathize with the witch from Hansel and Gretel.