Portland weather is actually more miserable than Eugene. I had no idea it was possible for rain to be any wetter. I could probably drown if it took any longer for me to get to the car from the front door of the house. Picture me just standing in the rain, thrashing about, gargling and gasping for air. Practicing the egg-beater wouldn’t save me this time.
Up until last week, the rain was the main reason I didn’t get out of the house. Then, I realized that, at this rate, I would never leave the house until June.
So, now, it’s more of a matter of finding a way to stay alert during the dark days. I am having the hardest time staying AWAKE, especially in the absence of light. I need to take at least one nap a day to be somewhat productive. This is how I’ve been staying focused in school. After my earliest class, I would come home and take a nap. Then, I’d resume my day. Without the nap, there was no way I could function throughout the rest of the school day. Yes, folks. I am an overgrown infant. Or an old person disguised as a 29-year-old.
Right now, the best time for a nap actually seems to be – and you’ll love this – just after waking up in the morning. You’d think one wakes up automatically at a certain time because that’s the time one is ready to wake up. Apparently, in my case, I wake up then because it’s a good time to fall right back asleep. Maybe squeeze in a breakfast in between…
I do have sleep apnea and it’s caused by mild UARS (Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome). What it means is that I stop breathing in my sleep and this alerts my brain to wake up and kick-start the respiratory system. I don’t realize this because I don’t fully wake up. The ever-so-slightly alarming fact is that this happens 200 times every night. Yes, folks. For the past several years or so, I have been waking up every two minutes, every night. Guess how much more sleep I lost after my uninsured ass got billed after finding this out.
I wonder if this has anything to do with why I keep losing balance and get completely disoriented when I bend over or when something is slightly covering my vision. I seem to lose half consciousness in a dimly lit room. If I get a lock of hair in my face or if I’m wearing a hoodie, I could easily walk into a flagpole. Oh, I bet you people would looooove to see that. This hasn’t happened, yet! However, most of the instances involving the boyfriend pulling me out of oncoming cars or people has involved me wearing a hoodie or having hair in my face. It’s like my brain is detached and accessible only by remote and the hoodie cuts off the electromagnetic waves… or… something. What the hell am I talking about?! *brushes hair back from face* Okay, whoa~ Anyway, this might have nothing to do with the UARS and it could just be me being all-around air-headed.
After attempting to stay awake without napping and just being completely useless on those days, I’ve decided not to battle the urge to nap. I’ll just go right back to sleep, wake up in a couple hours and then try to spend the rest of the day being as productive as possible.
Once I find a job, however, this schedule probably won’t be accepted by my prospective employers (unless I get my ass hired and then ambush them with a doctor’s note afterward and then lose even more sleep thinking of ways to make sure they don’t fire me for being lethargic while claiming it’s for something else… ) so I am planning a brief stay in Korea while I get this treated. I hope to return fully functional and a hundred times more productive than I was before.
In the meantime, I’m going to have to work with the extra sleep and hold myself responsible for making the most out of the rest of the day. As I’ve said, the rain was the main reason I didn’t leave the house. Then, I realized how stupid that was. I have a working car. I also replaced a headlight and windshield wipers just last week. I also have this awesome waterproof parka that the boyfriend got me for Christmas and it keeps EVERYTHING out. IT MIGHT EVEN BE BULLETPROOF. Okay, no… no, it’s not. I’m spacing out again… *brushes hair back from face*
The one thing I do NOT have is an excuse to stay in! So, I won’t! I will face that wide, wide world, rain or shine!
And, then, I will buy more yarn!
And, then, I will come back and… knit at home… all day… gotdammit.
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Try getting a light box–I use on on my desk all winter long, and it REALLY helps. You probably have SAD too…it runs in my family, unfortunately.
Good luck! You might need a CPAP machine too…
You always make me laugh.
I do hope you get better if you get some treatments in Korea – probably a helluva lot cheaper there too. I also have to wonder if stress is an issue for you too. From what I remember when we first “met,” you didn’t seem to have any erratic sleep issues. Anyway, now that school is over, that’s one less thing on your mind, right?
Oh and my remedy for those blah-days at home is sweets. Have some sugar! It makes everything better.
Hey totally know what you mean man. When I get all grown up I’m gonna go move somewhere where it is sunny and wonderful ALL THE DAMN TIME.
But honestly I hate winter weather too. And living in Vancouver means that we get rain 80% of the damned year (well maybe a bit exaggerated but whatever).
For me it’s cold temperatures. I am a serious princess when it comes to temperature drops. I get migraines, I get cranky, I basically become a corpse and refuse to even move around the house unless there is a heater attached to me.
Anyways, I’m glad you snapped outta it and I’m glad you’re gonna venture into the wetness!
Good luck with the apnea treatment. Sleep problems are no fun!
PS. I thought I was the only one who naps after I wake up in the morning (sometimes early afternoon). It’s so awesome waking up, eating some cereal than going back to bed for an hour or more… something very indulgent about it.
awww, girl, hope the weather gets better so that you can get better. i live in “sunny” california, but it’s raining & flooding like no tomorrow. going outside and getting some light is a definite mood lifter. wish i lived closer so that we can enjoy the misery of the rain together.
i don’t know if you’re much of a social butterfly or just want some company while knitting, but meetup.com has interest groups where you can go out, meet new people, and do stuff you enjoy.
Hey that sounds like a typical day in our household. We wake up, eat breakfast, get food coma, n go back to sleep. Plus, lately the weather in Vancouver has been so bloody miserable that we don’t even wanna venture out! I didn’t know there was a place on earth where it rained THIS much until I got to Vancouver. The two of us will never move to Forks I guess. (omg did I just disclose that I’ve read Twilight??!!)
I’ve never heard of sleep apnea, it must be absolutely awful to wake up every two minutes when you’re asleep! I really hope you get treatment and get well!!
Talking bout walking into things, once when I was in Hong Kong, I was so engrossed in watching people eat at one of those street diners that I actually walked INTO a street light. Like they do in Charlie Chaplin movies. I hope no one saw that…
YARN!!!
:3
Ya, I never use to get any weird comments up until last week when this guy claimed to live near me. He was very creepy and I seriously have no clue how he even found my blog. Guess he found out my location from the pic in my last post. I didn’t want to delete my blog so I just allowed a few people to read it. It’s not like I had a huge following anyway haha :p ugh the Internet can be scary! You should be careful too.
hey sweetie, I totally don’t comment enough on your blog (seriously one of my favorites), but this totally is concerning! If you have obstructive sleep apnea, you may need to be fitted for a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) to use when you sleep. It’ll basically give you enough force to keep your airway open. It will probably be hard to sleep with at first (and totally not sexy), but you’ll feel so much better once you get used to it. I guess your doc in Korea will get you the treatment that you need, and I hope it goes well!
In the meantime… don’t push yourself to leave the house! Especially if that means driving. One of the most dangerous aspects of sleep apnea is sleepiness during the daytime leading to accidents. And you shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself for being sleepy– you aren’t actually sleeping a lot! You probably need 11 hours to get “7 hours” of sleep that other people get, and even then maybe not even in complete cycles.
Also – just a thought, but maybe with one eye covered you just lose your depth perception. Kind of normal, though I think it seems very exaggerated in you based on your descriptions. Maybe you should get your vision tested.
Haha sorry for all the unsolicited advice, I don’t mean to sound like a mother, but I don’t want you getting into a car crash or walking into traffic!
my sister-in-law has sleep apnea – after she started using a cpap machine it helped her sleep through the night. I hope that you can figure out a good treatment while you’re in Korea. daily naps totally rock though – I was just talking to PaperDollRevenge about them and how much I miss being able to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon (instead of trying to maintain consciousness at a desk at work). If I could nap under my desk like Costanza and get a little power nap in, I would be so much more productive!
Sorry to hear the weather isn’t much better…let’s hope the groundhog doesn’t see his shadow next month and that spring gets here a little sooner – I’m happy to put up with humid, sweltering sunny days than dark winter ones. all I do now is change into pjs and wear my snuggie around the house (so sexy, i know, haha)
gahhh! i feel ya, its been raining quite a bit here in vancouver too (surprise, surprise) but actually this week its weird cus we’ve gotten quite a bit of sunshine. i know how you feel thought about really getting up and going when its still dark out. that’s me every morning. -.- naps are good.
Hurray! Sympathy comments
So, I’m not an isolated freak xD
Naps are seriously underrated. They are constantly proven to be a good habit to keep a person at maximum efficiency and productivity throughout the day but our society is so hell-bent on saving every hour for work that its priorities are screwed. I propose a campaign to bring back the siesta!
mayaari: I actually don’t mind cold weather so much. I absolutely cannot stand temperatures above mid 70s lol. But I do dislike how the sun has been setting before 5pm. Hahaha. Love the Costanza reference!
HY: Awwww, thanks for voicing your concern! The doc actually recommended getting a night mouthpiece rather than a CPAP mask but I keep wondering if he’s taking bribes from the mouthpiece reps LOL. I got the big fat DoNotWants for the CPAP mask but if it’s going to make the biggest difference for my day life, then I guess I have no choice. As for the depth perception thing, I know my vision is still pretty good so I wonder if it’s actually an ear thing. Your thoughts?
Mcnunu: Ahahaha you must have looked so cute walking into a streetlight xD
Burnette: Thanks! I’m actually planning on going to some knit groups soon. I found two adorable knit shops quite close to home.
Carol: Yea, I don’t know when it really began. I think I was living in Eugene when I started waking up in the mornings feeling kind of suffocated. For as long as we’ve known each other, the boyfriend has heard me stop breathing. I’m definitely happy to be done with school!! I fear I have no choice but to take up your recommendation. Mmmmm. Candy. Om nom nom nom nom.
Jamilla: Yes. I’ve posted two entries about my lightbox and you’ve actually responded to both of them, lol. I have an Apollo GoLite.
This was a hilarious post, alien man! :p
I hate cold, frosty, wet wintertime too… but the weird thing is, I’d wanna leave the house, if it’s for shopping purpose, but not, if it’s my duty, haha…
about your loss of balance: well it could be an inner ear problem, but its hard to tell. Loss of balance is kind of hard to evaluate b/c it can be due to so many different things. It could basically be in your muscles, your nerves, your brain, your ears, your eyes… or anywhere in between. I’m sorry to say I can’t really tell, but since you correlate it to hair covering your face that’s why I was thinking lack of depth perception. I’d do a battery of physical exam points to try to isolate a deficit. They’re simple enough but not really things you can do and evaluate on your own. Have you talked to your primary care doctor about it? Oh and I think you should try the mouthpiece. If it works its so much better than a CPAP.
HY: I truly appreciate the time you’ve taken to write all that! I’m actually planning on a battery of exams once I’m in Korea, which is why I’m booking a pretty long stay. When I come back, I want to be in peak physical condition and ready for full-time work. I guess I really should start working out, lol.
Anyway, I am so glad you emerged from lurk-dom to leave such thoughtful comments. Thank you!!
Oh babes! I hope the weather picks up for you! And I say if you’re tired… SLEEP! Don’t deprive yourself! But LOL at the best time for a nap! Haha!!
Buy bright lights for the house!! Make a makeshift day like how they do for tv & movies! LOL!
Good luck with the job hunting! I’m sure you’ll do better then me on that front! You have a college degree.. oh and brains too! LOL! I’m lacking in those things!
And I’m blind to begin with so.. trust me it doesn’t take lack of sleep to walk into thing… I’ve walked into a mailbox before.. Oh yeah.. it happened.
hahaha makeshift day xD
let’s see if this degree gets me anywhere!
i have two lights in the bedroom and, sometimes, they don’t feel like enough T_T
and thx for the encouraging words, wuzzy