Long ago, I told my readers to no longer expect posts about purchases (hauls) or any other type of product post that would do no more than promote a brand. Since then, my reader base has left me for better blogs. Just kidding.
Now that I’ve got my requisite self-deprecating humor out of the way, it’s time I’ve done something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time.
I’m going to post reviews on cleansers that I’ve REALLY gotten to know… and hate. I’m not talking “used it for a week and I like/hate it”. I’m talking “used it to the last drop, even bought a second bottle of some kinds, took it for a date, fell in and out of love, let it abuse me and begged for more”.
Today’s Victim:
Cetaphil
It’s gentle all right. It’s so gentle that it wouldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone the dirt, oil and makeup on your face. It just wants to blanket itself over the grime and be friends for the five minutes you massage what appears to be bottled semen to your face and amicably leave them alone afterwards.
I’ll be honest with you. I’ve used this crap for years, thinking it was just the thing for someone with extremely sensitive skin. That’s because I was a moron. I have no excuse. Still, I’m a pretty bitter and sad creature and I’m the one wielding the red pen. So, Cetaphil loses points for taking advantage of my moron-ity.
However, if you’re planning on using this, you’re better off preparing for getting loads of OTHER products to compensate where this one lacks. I’m talking cold creams, makeup removing creams, face wipes – and what’s the point of getting a “gentle” cleanser if it means you end up getting other less gentle products to make up for it??? – mud packs that clean up what Cetaphil couldn’t… and you end up relying more on your toner to clean up the residue than Cetaphil. Take the cleanser out of this whole messy equation and it wouldn’t even make a difference, because this cleanser does NOTHING.
If you never wear makeup, though, this may be your thing. In fact, I don’t even think it was intended for fully grown women who have makeup routines. If you’re sensitive to many other products out there and you just want something that does nothing more special than… feel funny on your face… this may be your thing. Personally, I think you’re better off washing your hands with good soap and using your clean hands to rub warm, then cold, water on your face. What do I know, though? I’m no dermatologist.
I give it a D-.
Related posts:
- Cleansers that can Kiss My Ass: Biore Pore Minimizing Foaming Face Wash
- Cleansers that can Kiss My Ass: Garnier Nutritioniste Nutri-Pure Detoxifying Cream Cleanser
- Cleansers that can Kiss My Ass: Lancôme Blanc Expert NeuroWhite X3 Ultimate Whitening Purifying Foam
- Cleansers that can Kiss My Ass: Aveeno Clear Complexion Foaming Cleanser
- Cleansers that can Kick my as$: Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel
I am alienman. Writing a small blurb about myself is the hardest thing to do. "Blurb" is a funny word.
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Haha, I got the point! I wont’ be trying this one, even though we all know I don’t put on much makeup *ahem*! Hahaa…
This never worked for me either. I never thought about it as semen until you brought it up….
I think this is good for men. It keeps my dad’s skin clear! HAH!
ahh i was about to fall in the bandwagon n get cetaphil because of all the good reviews i read on makeupalley. thanks for this info, im glad i got an honest review =) i think i will stick with the one i have.
I never understood why so many people loved this stuff either, I always felt like my skin was all filmy after I used cetaphil (and I made myself finish the whole bottle)…the semen comparison made me bust out laughing! Purpose is a better option for sensitive skin, in my opinion.
My skin actually loves Cetaphil. I massage it all over my face, wash with warm water and use a soft wash cloth to go all over 2-3 times => squeeky clean every time. I do agree that it does not clean regular makeup but for MMU, my face is clean. Just give it another try with wash cloth, you’ll see the difference.
Ha, I wished your readers went to my blog (wishful thinking I know). How are you doing, I was worried about you.
Haha I thought the same thing as well about Cetaphil’s appearance
Just never said it out loud to anyone…
I’m too scared to try it long term because just from the feel of it a few times I knew it wasn’t cleaning my skin enough. At least you’ve confirmed it for me that it isn’t worth the risk.
I have a love/hate thing with Cetaphil. I like how gentle it is and it’s highly recommended for people with eczema, like me. However, the bottle does not work as well as the bar. The bar works the best. I don’t wear makeup at all, so yea, I can see why it’s too weak to wash off makeup.
Now, what to do with the 2 Costco-sized bottles? Part of me thinks that if I were still in college and living in the dorms, it would be a horribly good prank to use as “semen.” hahaha
Never tried it and thanks to your review, I probably never will!
poor cetaphil, or should i say poor alienman. this brand deserves a real spanking from u!
Yes this stuff does suck! It doesn’t work on its own (unless of course you rub, rub, rub, it off with a washcloth). Great review!
I forgot all about this I have a big bottle of it somewhere. I used it for alittle over a month a while back and like you said it didn’t really do anything. It does work for me if I use a wash cloth but there are other cleansers that I don’t have to go through extra trouble for and do a much better job.
Oh, wow. I was about to try Cetaphil too, considering the raves it gets on MUA Boards. Well, I guess I’ll be stickin’ with the Shu cleanser, then. (Yes, I decided to follow Fei’s footsteps and use one of them emulsifiable oil cleansers. It’s actually really neat from a chemistry perspective….)
[...] I’ll give it this much credit. This stuff works better than Cetaphil in the dirt/makeup removal department. That’s why I thought it was working well. My [...]
Tried Cetaphil in my 20′s… didn’t like it. I love my holy grail DHC Deep Cleansing Oil… using it a few years now. It’s an awesome makeup remover / cleanser. Suitable for all skin types. I alternate with the DHC Cleansing Foam on the days when I don’t wear makeup. It also cleans and rinses well without stripping natural oils on skin… you know, leaving it taut and dry.
OMG i just started using this like 2 days ago! i remember my derm giving it to me back in teen days for my acne…luckily i got this for free!
I found that it was ridiculously too easy on my face as well…
Even when I only used it in the mornings. Just couldn’t get the overnight oil off properly!
Anyway now I mix in a bit of baking soda, and use it as a mild scrub. I found that when I mixed that in, it made a huge difference in the productivity of it. I’m just happy that I didn’t pay a crap load for this either.
*semen* haha…
my dermatologist recommended me to use this…iono….maybe like 5-6 years ago? and i HATED it. it left this gross residue and made my face feel dirtier than before i even used it. Plus it has sulfates(but i used this product before i became allergic to sulfates so thats okay..), but for today the sulfates thing is a nono for me.
i love the cheap price but it just doesn’t do anything for me…i completely agree with ur review on this. I don’t even know if it’s a D- in my book. more like a F++ or something cuz it just felt so icky on me
Funny, I love this stuff. It’s the only thing that works for my face.
I love Cetaphil but I think it’s best to pair it with DHC’s Deep Cleaning Oil if you need to remove makeup. I have used more harsh cleanser before, including many targeted for acne skin, but I didn’t stop breaking out until I used the Deep Cleaning Oil (makeup remover) + a very gentle cleanser. I have used Cetaphil, H2O+ Sea Mineral Cleanser, and Dermalogica’s Ultracalming Cleanser. They are all great!
p, do you use DHC first and then use Cetaphil? What happens if you use DHC alone?
Sounds like you are trying to find an “all-in-one” magic bottle? I use the Deep Cleansing Oil only at night (to remove the dirt accumulated through the day and makeup if I have on.) It really melts away any dirt on my face without the dry and harsh feeling (it also rinses off easily despite it’s olive oil.) But I always follow up with a very gentle mild cleanser.
In the morning, I will use the mild cleanser only because there isn’t much dirt while I sleep, just to wash off some excess oil and refresh my face.
I have never use any makeup remover alone without following up with a facial cleanser, and I am too scare to test it with my face, so I am not sure how that will work.
P.S. I actually found your blog when researching about BB cream. Noticed you really like Silk Naturals so I am thinking of ordering the sample kit to try. What kind of coverage did you order?
Sorry this may not be the right post to ask but thought it will be easier for you to see.
I agree the Cetaphil isn’t much on its own. I wash my makeup/dirt/oil off first with cleansing oil (actually, i just use virgin olive oil from the supermarket) and then wash that off with cetaphil~
XD I actually like Cetaphil. But I use it more like a toner replacement, and to wash my face in the morning. I remove my makeup with the oil cleansing method and then put Cethaphil on my face and tissue it off. It has been working much better than toners, and it makes my face soft.